“Maybe Chanel No 5 is somewhere on these walls,” my guide jokes as he points to the hieroglyphics in an antechamber in the Temple of Edfu. We’re in what was apparently a perfumery back in the days of the ancient Egyptians and these walls are full of the various recipes they came up with.
After several days cruising the Nile River, I’m becoming something of an expert when it comes to temples, tombs, pharaohs and gods.
I’ve crept through dark burial chambers and learned that, just as we have an app for everything, the ancient Egyptians had a god for everything - even crocodiles. Half of the Temple of Kom Ombo is dedicated to Sobke, the god of crocodiles - presumably an attempt to placate all the toothy reptiles that inhabited the Nile River back in the days of the pharaohs.
I’ve also learned that when Ramses II wasn’t having monumental statues of himself built - there are four alone, each 66 feet high, guarding the temples at Abu Simbel - he was busy fathering 200 children. It didn’t do him any harm as he is thought to have lived to the ripe old age of 97.
A Nile River cruise is by far the easiest - and most comfortable - way to explore Egypt’s treasures as so many are scattered along the river. Not that I am the first to work that out. Thomas Cook got there before me, taking his first group on a three-month jolly along the Nile River in 1869. Soon a Nile River cruise was on everyone’s bucket list - and it still is if Uniworld River Cruises’ experience is anything to go by.
The company tells me sales for their all-suite vessels, River Tosca and S.S. Sphinx, are at a “whole new level” this year. I’m not surprised! They are lovely ships, holding just 82 and 84 passengers respectively and with swimming pools on the Sun Deck so you can keep cool while enjoying the spectacular scenery. And just wait until you see the itinerary. Two nights in Cairo, a seven-night cruise from Luxor to Aswan and back and a night in the Egyptian capital to round it all off with almost all sightseeing included.
Prepare to be blown away as you touch and feel the history that goes back thousands of years on a journey through myth and reality cluttered with murderous gods and cunning rulers. A perfect setting for Agatha Christie’s Death on the Nile, which she partly wrote at the Old Cataract Hotel in Aswan, where Uniworld River Cruises takes guests for afternoon tea.
You’ll see the treasures of Tutankhamen, learn why pharaohs shaved their heads before going into battle, find out why everyone loves Queen Hatshepsut, see Whirling Dervishes do their stuff and get togged up in a galabeya for an evening of music, dancing and singing with the crew.
You’ll have a movie moment amid the 134 columns in the Hypostyle Hall in Karnak Temple, which starred in Bond’s The Spy Who Loved Me and was where murder was n early afoot in Death on the Nile and return after dark for a sound-and-light show over the Sacred Lake.
Aswan, where the boats turn around, is a sweet shop of delights, packed with excitement. Learn how ancient Egyptians cut obelisks out of solid rock in a nearby quarry, sail in a felucca and take a boat to pretty Philae Temple, which was moved stone by stone to the island on which it now stands to escape the siring waters of the Nile River after the first Aswan dam was built. You’ll do it all.
If you choose, you can also visit Abu Simbel, which was likewise moved to escape rising water, this time Lake Nasser (it’s an early start but so worth it). And after all that you’ll come home vowing you never want to see another temple. Except that after a couple of years, Egypt’s magic will be luring you back.
Trust me! I’ve been there. 
